05 Dec: Citroen C4 Picasso

Citroen C4 Picasso 1.6 TDI …

From the folk who gave us light and delicate croissants instead of Greggs pastry, sweet broches instead of morning rolls, red wine instead of dandelion and burdock, comes a rather more sleek and stylish people carrier than the Beeb’s police box so beloved by a certain Doctor.

Citroen_C4_Picasso_2013_002It just shows that when it comes to making boxes on wheels look good, the French can still turn a trick. The only thing is though, and typical of all new cars these days is the complexity of the electronics. The dash display has been pinched from an iPad designer’s tablet and it seems to be stuffed full of pre-loaded Apps. As for delving into the Menus and options, I almost referred to the manual – before thinking better of it and leaving well alone.

That was maybe a bad move, because the Citroen had one infuriatingly annoying habit. The lane-departure warning system is linked to the seat belt tensioner, so that every time the car thinks you are going off line or wandering, it gives a tug. At times the seat belt tugged like a wean passing an ice cream van on a hot day. It went on, and on … and on …

Citroen_C4_Picasso_2013_006Not only did it do this on the Motorways, which was bad enough at times, but it happened on country roads even when you deliberately, rather than mistakenly, took a wide cut at corners so you could see round them.

I’m sure Citroen introduced this with the best of intentions and to improve their Euro NCAP safety score, but the system was just a tad too eager. Manufacturers will argue that this is for safety reasons, and since we are not allowed to criticise anything these days with an ‘elf and safety’ badge then so be it, but perhaps there should be an opt-out switch, so check the options before you buy.

Being of a certain age and set in my ways I just couldn’t hack it at all. If owning the car and driving it daily I would probably end up strangling my passenger, picking a fight with a 20 stone trucker and chasing badger lovers through the woods with an axe. Annoying? That doesn’t do the word justice. It was even worse than having Exocet (the mother in law) in the back seat.

But then again, what’s the alternative? An audible buzzer or boing? Flashing light on the dash display or vibrating steering wheel? If we are going to have ever more ‘driving safety aids’ inflicted upon us, what is the most effective and least annoying method? On that basis, the tug on the seatbelt is the least intrusive.

It’s not really Citroen’s fault, the manufacturers are under constant and increasing pressure from governments across the world to introduce more safety measures. And if it does stop some idiot falling asleep at the wheel and  killing innocent bystanders or road users then it has to be a good thing. Mind you, the wife couldn’t understand what I was going on about, the system only affects the driver!

And that was the car’s only real fault. This is a softly sprung comfortable motor to drive that shrugs off sleeping policeman with bounciful ease and cossets the occupants. Admittedly there was a bit of harshness over cobbles, but I put that down to the low profile tyres as pot holes were virtually non-existent.

Citroen_C4_Picasso_2013_003Anyone who complains about headroom and shoulder room should be in a circus or a travelling fairground exhibit, because for this segment of compact family saloons it really is good. There is one other wee niggle about accommodation though. You can’t fold the rear seatbacks down from the tailgate area, you have to come round to the side doors, and the rear seats also have to be fully forward before they will fold. I just thought that was a wee bit of a design/practicality oversight. Even so, the space is huge which makes it all worth it. I got some six foot six steps in with ease, so a trolley jack and some wheels will be a doddle.

Citroen_C4_Picasso_2013_005So it’s not a sports car, and it doesn’t have any sporting pretensions, but the 114 bhp 1.6 litre TDI diesel offers a decent turn of speed and a noticeable bit of torque mid range. At roundabouts and junctions, drivers will need to engage first gear rather than trying to maintain momentum in second. It doesn’t like that, but the six speed box (the ETG6 semi-automatic transmission is optional) is easy enough to use and sufficiently tactile to enjoy.

Fuel economy wasn’t great considering the transmission with Citroen claiming a combined consumption figure of 70.6 mpg. I got nowhere near that during my week with the car. In fact I struggled to get near 50, spending most of the running time in the lower 40s.

Even so, I still really like the C4 Picasso, apart from one thing. Did I mention the Lane Departure Warning system? Did I mention that it was just a wee bit annoying? Did I comment on the fact that it was rather insistent? Could I switch the bugger off?

Not me, if the option was in there I couldn’t bluidy well find it. Or maybe this is just the French way of encouraging us to drive more slowly, considerately and gently – and getting closer to the manufacturer’s mpg figures.

Editor’s Memo: Ask the Inglis boys (Duthie Motors are Citroen dealers) at the next rally if this device can be switched off – or de-fused!

  • Review Date: December 5, 2013
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