Rally News: 21 October, 2012

Tall Tales from Mull ….

It’s 26 years since Assistant Clerk of the Course, Andrew Kellitt was last on the island, when he competed as a co-driver, but when he walked into the MacDonald Arms on Thursday night, he looked around the room, saw who was leaning on the bar, and uttered the observation: “Yup, nothing’s changed.”

Despite the fact that there was a hugely experienced and capable team in place running this year’s event, you have to worry about their mental state and some of their decisions. For instance, there were a couple of very senior folk up from London in Englandshire who worked for the MSA and therefore one would have thought their safety and comfort would have been uppermost in the minds of their hosts. So who was tasked with the job of running them around the rally in a high speed EVO8 road car? None other than Brian Watson. It has been said that some folk wouldn’t trust him with a tea tray on a gentle grassy slope, let alone a 340 bhp velocipede. Or maybe it was an inspired decision, the visitors left with a smile on their faces.

John Morrison came up with a cracker of an idea, and surprisingly, there was no drink involved. He reckons there is a case to be made for creating a new ‘IRC’ event, the Island Rally Challenge. He finished 7th overall on the Manx and then did Rally Hebrides, so came up with the idea of a three island competition comprising the Isles of Man, Lewis and Mull. Now there’s a good idea, eh.

The ‘Spirit of the Rally’ award was richly deserved this year. When the car ahead of them went off in Gribun rocks and landed in the sea, Rob Meynall and Tom Spencer stopped their Mini and waded into the water to check that the guys were OK. Fortunately they were but their consideration and efforts were truly appreciated. Nice one boys.

Strathclyde’s finest were out in force on Mull and were apparently behind the decision to ban service vehicles from the southern part of the island. They were concerned about driving standards on the narrow roads, but during the week before the rally they received no complaints about disturbance or recceing. In fact they issued only 7 speeding tickets – six to tourists and one to a radio operator.

With CalMac and the Polis more or less on side this year, it was down to the Cooncillors to try and ruin things. Apparently the tyre firms providing support for the rally crews had to buy a 4 day Street Traders Licence from Argyll & Bute Council or the Police would ‘move them on’. They also had to list the locations their trucks would be attending, their hours of service and had to comply with all H&S regulations. It cost 75 quid for the permit. So if any of you were concerned about the tyre fitters observing H&S rules, lengthening queues for getting tyres fitted, closing their doors when you wanted them open and increased prices, now you know why.

Quote of the rally? “When we got back to our caravan on the Saturday night/Sunday morning, we had a cider or two,” said Kevin Charles and Ross Williams, “with strawberry and lime in it – does that count as three of our five a day?”

And another one. Martin Healer debuted his brand ‘new’ Mark I Ford Escort. It was a factory built car from 1973 but had been completely refettled with an 1800 BDA and 5 spd ZF ‘box. “I got it 4 weeks ago,” said Martin, “and it’s very, very quick. This weekend I will be providing a Master Class on how to drive a fast car slow!”

And finally ….

Dangerous Des and Frenchie White were at Dervaig on Saturday night along with some pals. They had been there early and picked a good spot on the inside of the church wall just on the apex of the bend. They were in good spirits, like the rest of the huge crowd, and at one point the local Polis came over to have a word with the boisterous bunch. He must have singled out Des as the ringleader and approached the big chap who was swaying gently in the breeze while clutching his pint glass, but what he didn’t know was that Des was the designated driver for the night and there was nothing but Coke in his tumbler. Anyway the big Bobby started laying into Des about the evils of drink and the perils of driving with Des not letting on and slurring his Borders accent even more and telling the bobby they were heading for Calgary. With the crowd egging him on, Des played his part perfectly until the bobby eventually realised the p*ss was being extracted and walked away uttering a warning: “I’ll be watching youse.” I know this is true, cos I was there, standing behind them in the dark, only they didn’t know it.

And finally, finally ….

When the MacKenzies crashed their Fiesta on the Hill Road on Friday night, a spectating doctor rushed down the hill to offer help. As Iain clambered out of the car, the spectator shouted: “I’m a doctor – need any help?” A deadpan Young Ogg replied: “It’s no’ an effing doctor we need – it’s a mechanic!”