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The World According to Jaggy - June 11, 2010

The Rally Show at Chatsworth, June 5

Sometimes referred to as the 'Goodwood of the North' I went to the Chatsworth Rally Show for the first time the other weekend, and there were quite a few Scots around and about, plus some other weel-kent faces, supping ice cream in the sun and slurping lager in the shade.

And by goad it wiz guid. Unfortunately the Duke of Devonshire wisnae in when I chapped on his door. Having slipped over the border in the early hours, the Polis, the Immigration officials and the MSA didnae ken I was there, so I thought it only polite to inform the Duke that I was in attendance. As I said, he wisnae there, so no tea and cream cakes on the lawn of the big hoose.

Instead, I made do with an ice cream. It wis hoat, awfy hoat, with the sun beating down for most of the day. That was the first and last thing I bought while in attendance - it was three quid! Three quid for one scoop and a dribble in a hybrid cardboard/concrete wafer cone and a heat softened Flake with all the consistency of a hot slick on a warm day.

I parked up and walked in and the very first person I bumped into was Yuk Hodgson. He was there with his Millington endowed MkII and he recalled the first time we ever met. He was servicing for the late Piggy Thompson on a Scottish in the mid 70s. I was a junior reporter for MN in those days and was walking into a stage when I almost got run over by Yuk and two other service crew riding a Monkey bike. Yup, three up on a 50cc teeny toy folding motorcycle. Nutcase. My kinda guy.

After that it was downhill all the way, downhill through memory lane that is. The next ol-timer I bumped into was Russell Brookes. He was down to drive his old Andrews Heat for Hire Opel Manta, till it split its fuel tank, and his Andrews Talbot Sunbeam Lotus. He might be slower on his feet these days, but give him a set of wheels and he's off in a cloud of dust. And by goad it wiz stoory down in the trees at the back end of the gravel stage, and yet it was worth the walk because there was a fearful yump followed by a bad bump that really unsettled the triers and provided a few gasps and aaahs during the day from the assembled throng.

I was then accosted by John Cockburn of this parish who demanded to know what I was up to in these here foreign parts. He was looking after an entourage of hill rally specials (all suspension and engines, with seats as an afterthought) which he was running for three customers, and helping out with others.

McRae Vision was there too with the Sierra Cosworth and the Vauxhall Nova, and Jim McRae signing autographs till his wrist hurt. He also gave a few folk a quick hurl round the stage in the Sierra, under the watchful eye of big Barrie Lochhead who was down keeping an eye on the cars while Campbell Roy kept an eye on the fund raising efforts of the Vision team.

John Boyd was there with Fred Bell and the Fiesta, and of course 'Pop' Boyd, grumbling about the cost of parts these days, and about a bag of new wheelnuts being equal to a full season of rallying when he was a boy. During the afternoon there was an Inter-Nations Cup event for the Fiestas with four cars rigged out in Scottish, English, Welsh and Irish flags. It was a knock-out competition with the slowest of the four runners being put out after the first run and then the slowest of the three that were left going out in the second run, and so on. Sadly, 'John boy' didn't make it through the first round. Not because he was slowest (he wasn't) but because a driveshaft had broken. Elfyn Evans went on to win it and got his prize presented to him by Simo Lampinen.

I had a wee chat with Simo too and his co-driver John Davenport with Simo fondly remembering Scottish rallies of old. Speaking of Scottish rallies, Jonathan Lord was Clerk of the Course for this event, and despite that, (or maybe because of it) the day's activities ran more or less to time!

Andrew Cowan was there with his Imp and George Donaldson with his new Group N Subaru, but I was so disappointed. The new Subaru sounds nothing like the Subarus we all know and love. I don't know what he's done to it but it wails like a banshee and sounds nothing like a bad tempered bear with a headache.

The Palletforce team was out in force too with John MacCrone giving some delighted haulage contractors guest runs in the Ford Fiesta overseen by Richard Moore and Co.

So what were the treats out on the stage? Jari-Matti Latvala was there and blootered the stage with a works Focus and Tony Worswick was there with his Ferrari 308 GTB with the 8 intake trumpets poking out of the engine cover, sooking in children and sheep as it reverberated round the track. Alan Thistle had his Aston Martin V8 Vantage and Mick Strafford was showing off his meticulously rebuilt and authentic South African Firenza CanAm complete with a ridiculously huge wing on the back and a 5.7 litre V8 up front. Apparently they did rally these things out there in the 70s.

And as main sponsor of the event. Steve Perez had his whole collection there including his Historic Datsun 240Z, Porsche 911, Ford Focus WRC and his Lancia Stratos complete with no exhaust silencers, just a big pair of megaphone tailpipes. It was so loud it was painful on the old lugs, but by heck it was magic. He also had Craig Breen and his Kick Energy sponsored Fiesta S2000. Naturally, Steve being Steve, there was a whole fleet of Kick Energy crumpet wearing skimpy stuff in the hot sun, as if temperatures weren't high enough already.

But there was a big disappointment too, the last works built Austin Healey 3000 (ARX 92B) was there and I was all set for a tear-jerking wallow in nostalgia when it came to the start line for its first run - and went on fire! It was just a spit back under the bonnet but it needed the extinguishers! It made me greet, I was so annoyed I could have kicked a haggis.

Also spotted amongst the hingers-oan was big John Fife. I didn't know he was there till I heard his dulcet tones coming over the airwaves. Mark James (ex BBC WRC commentator) and Gary Champion were doing the public address business and Mark spotted the big chap and thrust a microphone into his face with the introduction, "rally reporting Scottish legend"John Fife and then wished he hadn't when the big chap launched into his usual spiel about rallying being for men and racing for poofters - and this in front of a mixed crowd of all ages too!

All too soon it was time for home, and what a lovely part of the world the Peak District is. Up here it would be bleak and impoverished, down there it was just quaint and countrified. Passing through the villages on the way home all the pub beer gardens were full of folk having a meal outside or a sociable drink. Many of the houses were bedecked with white flags with red crosses proclaiming allegiance to someone called Wean Looney and Rio Forkinhand.

Such a contrast to the delights of back home where the only folk you see socialising out of doors are hacked off smokers loitering outside pubs and alkies sitting on park benches having a swaally with fortified wine.

It's not the same is it?

But you know something all the way back up the M60, M61, M6 and relishing the mouth watering thought of a deep fried choc ice with double chips, I was thinking that we should have a stately home gathering like this with a motor sports theme. Jonny Dumfries had the right idea, but the wrong venue. That wee ferry couldnae cope with the demand and that was the event's biggest downfall.

But here's a thought, how about Floors Castle? They know a thing or two about motors and motor sport and it's not too far away from Englandshire. I was there late last year at the world launch of the new Land Rover Discovery 4 and the Jim Clark Rally has used it in the past for promotional events. It's got a good internal roads network, both tarmac and grush, plenty of parking and they know about hosting visitors and entertainment.

I reckon it could be a goer, and of course they've got a lot of Scottish motor sporting royalty on their doorstep to help it along, like Andrew Cowan and Louise Aitken-Walker, John Cleland and Doug Niven, not to mention the latest crop of rising rally stars like the Thorburns, Pearsons and Robsons.

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