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Jaggy Cars – May 2009
Audi R8
Can’t Live With It - Don’t Want To Live Without It!
Babe magnet? Yup, it shore is. Which surprised me, I thought Audi’s R8 was rather understated in the styling department. Considering its cousin comes from Italy and has more syllables in its name than an Italian menu I would have expected more dramatic lines, vents and wings.
It doesn’t have the same exotic presence as a Ferrari or the sinewy muscularity of an Aston. And even with those slabs of carbon fibre on its flanks, I thought it just missed out on the ultimate high street posing presence.
I was wrong. Small boys spun on their heels as I drove past and grown men just looked, and looked again. Teenagers just slevvered (quaint Scottish term for drooled). Folk passing me in the outside lane slowed up to have a look at the engine through the glass cover and then pulled alongside to see which overpaid footballer was driving it. Boy were they in for a shock! I don’t know whether they recognised the car from the ‘Iron Man’ film or whether they just thought it looked the supercar bizz.
As for babes, well the looks turned to laughter when the car stopped and I tried to get out. It was like watching a slow motion replay of an elderly elephant climbing out of a soapy bath. This thing is seriously low.
And yet it isn’t because this is one of the most practical supercars around. It has sufficient ground clearance to laugh at speed humps and clear car park ramps.
I also think it’s roomier inside than the TT. Even for a pie-enriched human frame the seats were supportive, there was room for long legs and I could still wear my bunnet without it rubbing on the roof.
As for the driving position, it was superb. Electrically adjustable seats and adjustable steering wheel column allow it to fit all sizes.
Once seated, time to fire it up. And like all big V8s it fires up with a whoop before settling down to a burble, although the neighbours thought I was doing it deliberately.
And that was one of the biggest disappointments. With the engine and exhaust at the back I could hardly hear the rascal. It just burbled away in the distance as I trickled around and even when pressing on, the folks who benefited most from the distant thunder were outside and behind it.
Once on the move the first impression is that all the controls have a weight to them, the steering, the gearshift and the pedals. Note that I said ‘weight’ and not ‘effort’. In a car this quick you want to know and feel what you and it are doing. The gearshift was a bit long, more of an arm movement than a wrist flick, but I reckon that would help to ensure the driver got the right gear, every time. The metal-finish gear gate was a bit over the top. When changing gear it clicked and clacked whereas I was expecting the sound of Wolverine’s claws being drawn over stainless steel.
However, once you got used to the shift, it was easy to keep the 4.2 litre reactor on the boil. A quick change up at 8,000 rpm would bring the next gear in at 5,500 while an even quicker (practiced) shift would bring it in at 6,000, providing yet another seamless surge of thrust.
On the Road
There are few places in this sainted isle where it would be safe to drive the car flat out apart from race tracks, but if you pick your spots you can get an idea of what the car is like.
First thing to bear in mind, unlike some other so-called supercars, this has four wheel drive. It also has huge brakes and if the performance is impressive, its stopping power is stunning. If you hit the brake pedal hard it’s like throwing a paper dart at a wall. It’s worth warning passengers first, otherwise you’ll find their lungs deflating on top of the dashboard alongside their pulsating heart.
Now honestly, I behaved myself, most of the time. But there was an occasion coming out of Abington on to the old A74 where there is a long uphill straight with a long left over crest into a long downhill stretch with a curving uphill right hander at the bottom. You can see the road for miles. Well, there were two bikers in full leather and shiny bikes parked up on the verge having a smoke who pricked up their ears when they heard me coming out of the roundabout.
Well, I’m only human. I let rip in 2nd, grabbed 3rd at 8000, dropped to 6000, still accelerating and grabbed fourth before the crest, lifted off over the top, saw the road was clear and let rip again, flat in fourth. Far ahead, a van was turning off left on to a side road so I had a practice with the brakes, dropped a couple of gears, double de-clutching each time (ya wee devil!) and then accelerated hard up the far side of the valley. Shit, it was quick.
And there was no drama. No pitching under acceleration or hard braking, no lateral movement on the corners whether still accelerating or lifting off. It felt planted.
The suspension has a ‘sports’ mode setting, but you don’t need it, not unless you’re going to some track day event. Even with such wide low profile tyres it soaked up everything and even when you hit a pot hole it didn’t jar. You felt it, but it didn’t unsettle the R8 and there was insufficient roll even on quick corners to make you want to reach for that button.
Tyres? I think they rolled the 19 inch rims across a rubber puddle on the floor and then let them set. The P-Zero footprint at the front was 235/35, while at the rear it was a rubber fetishist’s dream with 295/30s.
It even feels good in the air. Earlier on I had got light over a crest on a stretch of road I know well. You come out of a long left, a short straight with a crest into an immediate tight right. Well, even on a short straight this thing has some serious lift about it, so I went over the crest about 20 mph quicker than normal. It got light, came down without any bump or shimmy and then just turned into the right. It took the will of an anorexic in a Tunnock’s teacake shop to stop myself going back to try it again, even quicker, but this was a public road so I daren’t.
The last time I was this quick on these roads was in a Porsche 911 Turbo, the 4WD one, and that had a hairy old 444 bhp lump (it had the ‘performance pack’ fitted) hanging out the back. So the R8 is in seriously good company.
I mentioned weight and effort earlier, and when driving the car and using its performance, you appreciate the level of engineering thought and design that has gone into these controls. Everything just seemed to match. You didn’t need any more effort to stop the thing than you did to steer or fire it up the next straight. The feedback through the steering wheel was like running your finger tips down Keira Knightley’s spine.
But damn, it’s too quiet!
Conclusion
In many ways this is an understated supercar. It has swapped dramatic styling for wind cheating efficiency. It’s quiet, well-sprung, has a roomy interior and it also has a boot which is big enough to take more than a spare thong, a hankie and a credit card.
It also has no vices and all around visibility is excellent for such a car. Even the fuel economy was surprisingly good. I was getting over 22 mpg at times for goodness sake – although there were times when I wasn’t!
Neither was there any ‘snap, crackle and pop’. No head-snapping acceleration and no crackle and pop from the high revving V8 on the over-run.
And yet it provided a perverse pleasure. Sitting on the motorway at 70 mph with hot hatches scurrying past with long lingering looks from those aboard, there was no need to try and out-race them. You just know this would blow them away.
And so to the age old question, would I have one? The true measure of a car is whether you would fork out your own money to buy one. I’m afraid the answer is no, and that’s only because of the attention it generated. Being a shy and retiring type I couldn’t cope with this on a daily basis, which is a pity. I loved the car.
But then again, Audi puts this engine in the A4 and calls it an RS4. Now there’s a car I would have. On the other hand if you are an attention seeking poser who usually fails with women and wants to impress your mates - AND who likes a fine motor, the R8 could be your soulmate.
In Short:
Price: £79,830 (but this had 16 grandsworth of extras!)
Engine: 4163 cc, V8 petrol with 414 bhp
Performance: 0-62 mph in 4.6 seconds, flat out at 187 mph
Economy: 27.6 mpg extra urban, 19.3 mpg combined
CO2 emissions: 349 g/km
Insurance Group: 20
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